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- You find it difficult resisting dead-heading in some-one else's
garden.
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- You buy weak straggly, reduced price plants because you feel sorry
for them.
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- You're pleased when some nettles grow in your garden because they're
great for the compost heap, and they show that the soil is rich in that
area.
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- You're constantly trying to give away plants to friends and neighbours
because you propagated far too many.
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- You know exactly where the best specimens of your favourite plants
are in your neighbourhood.
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- You read the labels on plants at the garden centre and disagree
with what it says.
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- Seed catalogues are one the year's most anticipated, sumptuous and
exciting literary events.
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- You get upset when some-one refers to soil as "dirt" or "mud".
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- You get upset when people get compost and manure confused.
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- You regard neglected gardens with greater envy than fabulous gardens
- just imagine what you could do with them starting from scratch...?!
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- You very rarely return from even the shortest trip to your garden
for any reason with clean hands.
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- Your garden looks better than your house.
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- Your friends stop asking for gardening advice as you made them feel
bad that they know so little and the answers you give always seem like
too much hard work.
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- There is no item of footwear you own that hasn't at sometime had
soil on them.
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- You think £50 is a lot of money for a pair of trousers, but a great
price for a particularly wonderful plant.
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- Even though your garden is already full, you could easily fill it
again with completely different plants you want - from memory.
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- You could give local directions based on particularly fine hedges
and specimen trees as landmarks without mentioning roads, post offices
or pubs.
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- You covert your neighbours shed more than his ass.
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- There are always traces of soil, compost or plant material in your
car.
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- You don't just have a favourite plant, you've a favourite tree,
flowering tree, autumn foliage shrub, blue flowering spring perennial,
summer bulb, evergreen climber etc. etc.
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- You understand why there are so many different types of fertiliser
and despair that the array of pesticides are the same few chemicals
in different guises.
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- For you - a watering can and spade are for life.
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- You secretly despise the "Gardener's gift sets" you get for Christmas
and birthdays.
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- Buying a new spade or secateurs is one of the most significant purchase
events in your life requiring much thought, research and comparative
shopping trips.
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- You either have, or you'd love to have, an allotment.
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- Much of your gardening time is spent propagating.
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