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 Begonia Bumper Pack 21 tubers - 7 of each - £11.99

Fuchsia Giants Collection A 5 young plants - £5

Geranium Colour Carnival F2 Hybrid Mixture 42 plug plants - £6.99

Impatiens (Busy Lizzie) Accent Mixed F1 120 miniplugs + 20 Free - £10.99

Lily 100 Days Collection 10 bulbs - 1 of each variety - £9.99

Petunia Orchid Picotee Mixed F1 100 miniplugs + 10 FREE - £12.49

Verbena F1 Quartz Mixed 84 plug plants - £13.99

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Christmas Eating Tips

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  • Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving something significantly less healthy.
  • Drink as much of others people’s exotic alcoholic beverages as you can, especially if it’s someone who normally has to assess the cost when giving you the time of day (extra points if they are related to you). This opportunity will not present itself until next Christmas or until one of their offspring gets married. Besides, they’d do the same to you.
  • If something comes with sauce of any description, use it in copious quantities. That's the whole point of sauce - pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with sauce. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
  • As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skimmed milk or whole milk. If it's skimmed, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with only first and second gears.
  • Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free - Lots of it.
  • Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and a fluorescent cocktail.
  • If you come across something good at a buffet table that you’ve never had before and are really delicious, position yourself near them and don't move. Have as many as you can before becoming the centre of attention. They're like those fantastic bargains in the sales - if you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
  • Same for cakes and mince pies, try everything. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two pieces of Christmas cake, especially if there’s a lot of marzipan, if you don’t like marzipan, then take it home as wrapped in a serviette (or a napkin if you're posh) for the dogs – dogs are the greatest connoisseurs of calorie-laden food in the known universe.
  • If there’s that Stollen stuff, Panetone or other continental offering that sounds like an item of clothing, you can have as much as you like as no-one else will touch it – and it was probably really expensive so it counts double.
  • One final tip: If you don't need some larger items of clothing when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't done it properly.

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Last  updated 21 December 2009     Copyright © Paul Ward 2000 - 2009