 One
mans (or womans) junk is another's garden feature. Some things have
a place in the garden and some just don't. I mean specifically here items that
come under the headings of "hard landscaping" or "features".
Rather than getting into discussing whether or not the likes of variegated
ground elder or weeping willows should be allowed to cross the threshold of the
average garden.I think that my own approach to gardening is rooted in childhood.
I see the garden as a place to be and play. Not so much of an outdoor room as an
outdoor house without a roof. There are public and semi-public areas like the
living room, dining room, kitchen, more private parts such as the bedroom and
study, and I even pee on the compost heap when no-ones looking. As such I think
I have fairly catholic tastes as to what is permissible and what isn't.
My favourite feature at the moment consists of three lengths
of spiral copper tubing with fine fins all down it that I salvaged from a hot
water boiler heat exchanger some time ago. It's latest job is to provide support
in a container that is planted with sweet peas.
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Unacceptable Junk
There are some things though that shouldn't even be allowed in
the open air, let alone in the garden in a decorative capacity.
 A brand new entry straight in at number 1. I only saw
an advert for this a little while ago, but it has to be first on this list.
uPVC Decking Boards. I kid ye not. Decking boards made
from the same white plastic used for window frames and doors.
| Is it
disguised? |
No |
| Does it look like
wood? |
No |
| Does it look like white
plastic? |
Yes |
| Does a whole deck look like a large expanse
of white plastic? |
Yes |
I predict a rapid demise.
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Mirrors.
Mirrors in the garden always strike me as being something that
was put out for the bin men but not taken away yet because it's not Monday*
* - substitute the bin day of your choice |
  Brand new industrial girders. Whatever colour
they're painted. They just look like an unfinished building in progress where
the ugly parts haven't been hidden yet. |
 Anything made from old car tyres.
Especially if
turned inside out, painted white and planted with bedding.
The exception of course is if it used for a children's play area. |
Glass blocks built into walls. What is the point?
Ugly when new and destined to look tatty and sad when old and dirty and covered
in algae. |
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Acceptable junk
Metal
Wood
Best of all
There's quite a few of these sort of things around. Some
fairly famous, Grizedale Forest in the Lake District has a well known sculpture
trail as do many other country parks around the country.
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